Fear.

What is it that you are afraid of?
Is it the society?
or yourself?

What are you afraid to show?
Is it your skills?
or your face?

What is causing you pain?
Is it an illness?
or your thoughts?

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

It is not the society, it is you.
It is not your skill, it is your face.
It is not an illness, but your thoughts.

Disappointed? you don’t agree? you think I’m lying?

Go, stand in front of the mirror, look at your reflection, you have nurtured it into this.

Look at it, stare it, stare it longer…
What do you see?

You’ll see FEAR.

Fear of being yourself, fear of how you look and fear of what your notions are.

The community, the expertise or any ailment, these are not destroying you,
You are destroying yourself.

Is it worth it?
The fear?
The pain?

I hope you find an answer and I hope it helps you live.

Fading Away…

You’ve started to fade away…
your face, I cannot recall,
your actions I cannot get myself to think about,
your talks, I cannot hear any more.
Your voice has been replaced,
You were here yesterday and now you’ve moved away.

All I needed was another day,
To keep you with me,
To tell you what I feel,
To tell you I need you.

Not long ago, we met,
Not long ago, I fell for you,
Not long ago, you decided to leave,
Not long ago, you forgot to tell.

You’ve started to fade away.

You aren’t here, you’re just not here, anymore.
I don’t want to let go of the memories,
I don’t want to let go of the secrets,
I don’t want to let you go..
But you’re fading away…

Fly.

Let the winds touch your naked soul and whisper;
Let the time stop still for you to have a juncture;
Let the birds dance for you in joy when it rains;
Let the darkness vanish for you to see a new day;

Fly, oh love fly.

Let the boats planing across the water carry you to an unknown destination;
Let the shooting star burn to fulfil your desires;
Let the flower bloom to see you go scarlet;
Let the yearning be strong enough to let go;

Fly, oh love fly.

You aren’t meant to live a mundane life.
You’re meant to fly high.

Close your eyes and wish,
As the clock strikes 11:11
Nothing else…
But to fly.

Fly, oh love fly.

Escape.

Escape from the monotonous life,
Escape and leave everything behind.
Escape to have a love affair with the world,
Escape to find your self-worth.
Escape as far as you can,
Escape as much as you can.

Life is not meant to be lived,
Life is meant to be loved.

The purpose is not supposed to be served,
The purpose is supposed to be earned.

Stop, Think and Act is not always what we seek;
Run, Live and Love is what we perceive.

Don’t try to live your life,
Go ahead and love your life.

You’ll fall. You’ll rise.
You’ll cry. You’ll smile.
You’ll mourn. You’ll celebrate.
You’ll be the worst. You’ll be the best.
You’ll always be more than what you think you are.

You’re weak but strong.
You’re fake but so real.
You’re a failure but also a success.
You’re so much more.

Escape to find the you in you.
Escape to find the love in you for you.
Escape and you’ll know that there’s no better version of you than you.
Escape and fall in love;
Because once gone the time won’t return.

It’s a fast-paced world,
Waiting to leave you behind
So, escape because it’s time you tell your tale.

Let’s Pretend.

Watching you walk into my oh-so-monotonous life out of nowhere was like a ray of sunshine.

“Happy” was suddenly in the air.

You made me forget my worries without even realising it .. by just being there and listening to me while I talked and talked and talked .. I remember asking you do you think I talk too much? Or you talk too less? And you just laughed it off as if it wasn’t a big deal at all.

I love the night, I love the moon and the stars.. they are my only companions when I want to be alone but I gave that part of me to you. A part that not everybody knows… a part which I’ve had refused for the longest time to be shared with anyone but you.

Surprised? Me too. Me too.

What is it about you? What is it?

I’m not sure where will this lead us but until then…

Let’s pretend that it’s been a lifetime of knowing each other.
Let’s pretend that we’ve learnt to fall and grow together.
Let’s pretend that we’re globe trotters.
Let’s pretend to believe in the magic of love.
Let’s pretend.

Voice.

It says you can’t do it.
It says you can.

It says you aren’t loved.
It says you’re loved the most.

It says you’re sad.
It says you’re happy.

It isn’t you.
But, it is.

Mumbling, screaming, crying, laughing or dancing in joy…
Thinking, reading or writing in silence…
Listening to music or humming the same song while you play the strings of your guitar…

It won’t stop.
It never stops.

The faded memory or the unseen future…
The loss of a loved one or the stories that never came true…
The incomplete love story or the search for self-worth…

It won’t stop.
It never stops.

What does “It” want?

To not let us sleep.
To have dreams.

To walk away.
To stay put.

To remind us of the chaotic past.
To build our happily ever after.

To die.
To live.

“It” is the voice, the inner voice.

Until the last falling star☆

“Wishes and hopes are kept in a jar full of dreams. Wishing and hoping that someday what I’ve dreamt will come true. The scrolls in this dream jar will be alive and dance with joy as their mission in my life would be accomplished..”

This was one of the scrolls that she recited while she looked at herself in the mirror.. questioning herself if she should add more scrolls to the jar which was overflowing with folded dreams, the ones which were taking too long to come true.

“I don’t understand, I have been writing my dreams ever since I was 10. Praying for them to live. What am i doing wrong? Who’s at fault? How am I supposed to believe in the power of God? How am I supposed to believe in magic when my world is falling apart because none of these are coming true. What am i supposed to do?”

She cursed herself, the world and cried to sleep.

“You are the God. You are the Dream. You are the Magic. You are the Wish. You are the Hope. You have to Believe.”

A voice spoke, ‘Don’t be afraid.. good things take time. Just be a hero, your own hero and fight.

Fight for those dreams to come alive, fight to see the light. Don’t give up, it’s just a bad night.”

She woke up in the middle of the night, looked at the moon outside her window and smiled.

“I know it was you, it has always been you. Guiding me through.. watching over me with your shine.. i know you aren’t at fault .. I’ll believe you until the last falling star.” xx

Declutter

Running every day from one corner to other.. to fulfil dreams, to make a living, to have a house, to make our parents proud or just to survive.

School, College, Job, Marriage, Family every chapter we open in the book of our lives has a way to make us a mess. A mess that we try to ignore by partying, drinking, or taking off to someplace for a weekend.. but are our lives really that easy to disregard?

People will tell you “Work now, it will pay off later”. My question here is what if there is no later? What if whatever I’m doing right now is surviving in hope of living someday but what if I don’t get to?
We fight the world, everyday, every minute but why are we fighting each other? Why are we throwing ourselves in pits when we don’t even know how to climb back up?
This world, oh boy this world is a nasty place.. it will make you go to a level where you never thought you would go and then laugh at you. Not sure if I would call that being mean or trying to teach a lesson because all I see is how cruel the world is.
But we all have to let it pass. We don’t have to be a mess, just surviving on hope that someday is going to be our day.. because that someday might not end up coming.
My advice?
Declutter, live.
Not tomorrow, not next month but today, at this very moment, start. Take a deep breath and start.
Start to Declutter.
You might start living.

The Passerbys

Everyday we meet people, some new some old, some warm some cold.. and by mistake, without even putting enough thought into it, we fall. We fall hard for them.. in ways which we can’t understand ourselves. It could be a newly shifted neighbour, some old friend who you met after ages, a past lover or maybe a new guy in the gym.

You meet, you connect and boom. You’re hooked.

Well, for a day.

Why does this happen? This is not what we’ve been waiting for?

But then what are we waiting for?

Do i look pretty enough? I have to go meet him. Should I change my t-shirt? I have to go meet her.

Where are you going?

Somewhere for drinks and then to his place.
Somewhere for drinks and then to her place.

How did it go?

She’s pretty but it’s a no strings attached situation.
He’s smart but it’s a no strings attached situation.

What on earth is this no strings attached situation?”

Have we really forgotten the definition of Romance? Is this really just a swipe right, swipe left generation, “a no strings attached” genx. Is it?

Or

Is this the only way through which we’re trying to save ourselves, save our hearts from being caught up in the midst of an affair. The reason could be anything, a broken heart, social status or because we all are way too cool for old school.

Or

Are we saving on time?

“I want to focus on my career, I can’t get over her.. she still stays in my subconscious, I don’t do relationships but I’m open to everything else, nobody likes me enough to be with me, maybe am too clingy?”

What have we found? What have we lost?

We found time but we lost a chance. Time to do everything in the world. A chance to feel.”

How?
Why?

Because we are genx and we believe in passerbys and not in Romance.

Love.

A word, a simple four letter word, too hard to explain yet too easy to understand… what is it about this word that makes all of us laugh, cry, dance in joy and god knows what all.

Have I fallen in love?

With things, yes.

With pets, yes.

With food, yes.

With places, yes.

With a person? No.

Do I intend to? God, yes.

Why is it that our world stops at these four letters? Why is it so important?

I am not sure but maybe it’s the feeling that you get when you’re in their arms and you feel as if the world has suddenly become the best place to live in. As if just by having their arms around you, you’ve found a safe haven, a place where nothing can harm you, nothing.

Or maybe it’s the way they make you feel when they compliment you when they hold your hand or even when they tease you. The surprise kisses, the unplanned dates that turn into memories to cherish for a lifetime and even the fights.

It’s the touch and the thought of them that gives you butterflies in your stomach, a jittery wave in your spine and a healthy pink blush on your face. Dancing on the favourite songs, eating a delicious dessert in a restaurant at the end of the street or just a simple hello by them, maybe that’s what makes it so important?

We all have so many identities, at home, at work, when we’re with friends, when we’re alone and so on but who are we really?

When we fall in love, we ask our partners to promise us that come what may they would never break the trust, trust that they won’t reveal the real you.

That is our real identity. We are who we are when we are with the person we love the most.

I’m a young and independent single woman who never had any intentions of falling in love but I have, not with a person instead with the idea of falling in love. It’s crazy, drives me insane and kills me sometimes but I know for a fact that when I’ll fall in love, I’ll probably go nuts… It will be messy knowing the person that I am but magical, annoying but passionate, painful but adventurous.

I hope it doesn’t take forever to fall in love because I cannot wait.

If you’re reading this…

If you’re in love, you’re the luckiest person in this world, I envy you and wish you all the luck in the world. But, if you aren’t, just like me, hold on… don’t lose hope! I’m sure somewhere someone is made for us too. It could be the person sitting right next to you at this very moment or the person you crossed in the market last evening or your classmate from school, 10 years back… You never know what life has in store for us. But, for now just don’t lose hope, you’ll find your person, we all do.

After all, it’s supposed to be a happy ending and we all deserve one!

 

With Love,

Radhika

 

#Pray

Is this the end of the world?

Paris. Orlando. Turkey. Dhaka. Baghdad. Dallas. Who is next?

Everyday there is some city that’s been targeted and thousands of innocent lives are taken. Children, women, men, young, old, black, white, Hindu, Muslim no one’s spared. Why? Why is there so much of hatred in the world? Where is this coming from? Where is this taking us? What’s the cause? Why are people killing people? For what? 

Confused? Angry? Helpless? So am I. So is the person who has an inkling that he or she’s about to die when they are hiding somewhere in a bar and they call their parents home right before they’re shot in the head and poof. Dead. Just dead.

Not once. Not twice. Its been happening over and over and over again. Who’s to be blamed? The parents of these murderers? Or the friends? Or the television influence? What is it that these normal people like you and I are happily posing before going to make a kill. What is it? 

This is no fight for religion. This is no fight for a part of the world, this is a fight against humanity.

When Quran, Bhagavad Gita or Holy Bible were written, did any of these say that a person needs to know every verse, every single word that’s written in these holy books? No, they were written so we could get back to our ancestral belongings, to live the lives they lived, to learn from the verses that have been written in these books, the verses that changed their lives for good. But these holy memoria never mentioned even once, to be able to live you need to memorize each letter, each word and each sentence. 

Everyday innocent people are dragged into the eye of terrorism either by killing them or by making them kill the others. 

Terrorism has no religion, there is no muslim, no hindu, no black, no white but, they definitely kill in the name of one. Why?

We would die contemplating questions and questions but would we be able to find answers, is the biggest question of all. Will this end? Will the world be at peace someday?

Is this the end of the world?

Entire world lives on hope. But are we really living?

Guess, we are just surviving on hope.

THE LLL brigade!

Living a life surrounded by lustful things is not a choice or an option that I or any of us opted for. We are helpless, its more like a compulsion, a compulsion to strive for a better life, to achieve dreams, to live by our hopes and most importantly to stay in the fashion race.

But how long a list is too long?

Because mine refuses to end!

From finding a boy to getting the perfect little black dress, from working in a magazine to finding the matching lip shade for myself, from travelling the world to having a pet panda, etc , etc, etc; everyday it keeps adding on and on and on.

But again, how long a list is too long?

I have a fear of being judged by every single soul that crosses my path, even the 1-year-old little champ I saw staring at me in the metro today. I wondered, what must be going on in his little mind?

Does he think am ugly since he’s not smiling at me? Or does he think am too weird because am staring back at him? Or maybe he thinks am just stupid that am wearing white strappy footwear from some random online store with my favourite acid washed jeans. (Damn, I should have worn the black ones)

What is he thinking?

HOW DOES THAT MATTER?

Why am I talking about this here?

Well, because his approval is also on my lust list.

WHY? I WISH I KNEW.

Do I want to punch people in the face? Yes. Is that also a part of my lust list? Of course.

There are times where I am looking at a Chanel bag in a mall with my lustful eyes, hoping to make it mine someday, or a beautiful pair of heels from Dune, or even a Calvin Klein bra, actually, these days, mostly am admiring how jaw dropping Kendall Jenner looks in the new CK ad, anyway the point is I AM A VERY LUSTFUL PERSON, I have a lustful eye for everything that catches my sight, my heart pops out like in those phone emoticons we have these days, even if it is a local 300Rs fake Rado watch. Oh, but my pocket Money got over? No problem, i’ll write it down in my long lust list and forget about it until 2 am on some random night after two or four long years, when my brain would suddenly decide to recall all the things I didn’t buy. Not that I am complaining.

But, I wonder sometimes how often should a person revise his or her lust list? Or how do we know if what we are lusting for is actually worth lusting? Wow, does this even make sense?

Current status: 50, 000 stars on my lust list.

Keywords: Love, Fashion, Beauty, Entertainment, Panda.

Last Added: Mascara (for the tenth time)

Life is too short. We keep forgetting that. Life is to be lived. We keep forgetting that too. I have a long lust list, a never-ending one, am sure all of us do but, is it helping us to be closer to our dreams and aspirations by making us work for a better future or is it taking away our present?

The question remains, how long a list is too long?

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