Where is my India?

I am an Indian and am ashamed, ashamed to be a citizen of a country which calls itself developing, which calls itself, a country of pride because there is no pride where there is no humanity.

I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed because this is not my India.

What is this? What have you done to my India?

While I was growing up, my mother used to tell me two types of people exist; good and bad but mostly people are good, so you should be good too. But, here I am 22 years old today and all I see are bad people around me, killing each other, abusing each other, raping women, assaulting and hurting one another,   what am I supposed to do now? Ma, you forgot to teach me how to be bad!

I grew up wanting to be a writer; I wanted to tell people what I feel, how I feel about the world, how my India and my people are different, the culture, the traditions, the humanity and now? I don’t even read the newspapers anymore. You know why? Because it’s full of people doing bad to their own people, to their own kind, to humanity and they are ruining my country, my India and I can’t see it. I just can’t. But, what can I do? Stand up against it and get myself killed? And for what? To see it exactly the same after getting killed. No thanks. I would rather be selfish and live for my family who still believe, who still have hope that this country will get its humanity back. But will it? I don’t think so. Am 22 just 22 and from where I see this country, it has no future. All I see are black holes that are sucking the good out of the people. But, are we all really that dumb? That stupid? That just for Rs 500 we’ll be ready to kill each other? Is that what our parents taught us? Is that what we grew up wanting to be, murderers?

I am not one of them. Are you?

People are getting killed, every day, every single day, why? Weren’t the diseases enough that people are now killing each other? What is happening? Why is this happening? Who is doing this? Whom should I blame? Who is responsible for all this? Am I? Because am a girl? Or are you? Because you are not? Or is it the society? Because of the horrible mentality? What is it?

It is 21st century and we still haven’t learnt anything. It’s been years and years of fighting and corruption and killing and what not and we still haven’t learnt anything.

Do you still see a future? Do you still have hope? I don’t.

A country where the government is busy fighting within themselves instead of working for the people, where everybody wants their share, their ‘hissa’ and if you don’t give it to them directly then well, they have other means… not much, but just putting fire to houses of innocent people, destroying public places and transports, etc etc and because the government was too busy fighting they have no other option but to accept the demands of such useless people who by the way am sure don’t even know what this ‘hissa’ is all about maybe because they were too busy raping women that they forgot to check the latest news update on their Facebook!

Coming to our lovely source of information, the media, I don’t know if I should be thankful to you or laugh at you because from where I stand and from where I see it, you are not doing your job very well. I am an Indian and I don’t want to live in this country anymore. What are you going to do about this now? Publicize it? Tweak it and show it to the masses or maybe not because I didn’t tell you my religion, oh, but you missed it, I just did. I am an Indian and that is my religion and you cannot tell me or Aamir Khan to shut our mouths because what’s the issue in accepting that the country where we live in is not a safe place anymore. Accept it, it’s not. He said nothing wrong. Maybe if you would have looked at why he said what he said instead of making it such a big deal then maybe I would have thanked you.

Media is supposed to help people not create problems for them and am sorry to say but am disappointed in the way the media has showcased things. Really disappointed. You people were my inspiration, my hope for the country and now it’s all gone, Poof! You have become the puppets of the ministers and you are playing an equally important role in eating up my India.

In the end, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you to the people of this country for letting me down, thank you to the government and the ministers for making me believe that all my life I have lived a big fat lie that people are good and for making me want to run away, thank you to the media for killing my hope and lastly thank you ma, for not teaching me how to be bad.

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